Tuesday, 13 February 2018

Bangkok, Thailand

I am normally not a city person but a short visit to Bangkok was quite nice. I stayed at the Sinsuran Airport Suite ($50 including breakfast and airport shuttle). It is actually quite easy and inexpensive to get public transit into the city if you are near one of the train routes.
Grand Palace, Bangkok, Thailand
The Grand Palace was incredibly crowded. As we were walking the grounds and saw the huge lineup of tour groups going in we decided it was not worth going in just to see the jade Buddha since we wouldn't want to fight through the crowds.  Just down the street was the Saranrom Royal Garden. A much more peaceful place the garden just had a few people walking, running or using exercise machines in the park. I found the fact that there were public exercise machines that were free to use brilliant. I would love it if Canada had something like that. The machines included a variety of weight machines and bicycles. The weights were under a pavilion but the bicycles reminded me of a kids playground since they were mostly plastic. They still work great and definitely would be a good enough workout. I wish Canada would get past all the bullshit insurance issues and just put something like this in public parks to encourage people to be active.
Saranrom Royal Garden, Bangkok, Thailand
The park was also one of my first looks at some birds in Thailand. These included: House Sparrow, Eurasian Tree Sparrow, Rock Pigeon, Red-collared Dove, House Crown, Black Collared Starling, Barn Swallow, Pied Fantail, Coppersmith Barbet, Zebra Dove, Pond Heron, Asian Koel and Common Myna.
Black-collared Starling

Asian Koel
The gardens even had a few reptiles basking or foraging in the afternoon. A sign said that previously during a different kings reign there were crocodiles in the ponds but these are no longer there. Many water monitors and turtles were around the ponds in the center of the park. 

Common Water Monitor (Varanus salvator)
Wat Pho/Wat Phra Chetuphon was much less crowded than the Grand Palace but we did arrive at the end of the day so maybe it was just our timing that made the different. The temple is even more colourful than the Grand Palace, which was very very brightly decorated on the roof. The temple complex had many chedi, intricate archways, statues, small gardens and planted trees as well as all of the buildings having brightly coloured roofs and mosiacs. Everywhere you look was patterns and colours. The chedis were my favorite part of the temple complex and the four large ones (42m!) called 'Phra Maha Chedi Si Rajakarn' were massive and had intricate colourful mosaics all the way up.

Wat Pho, Bangkok, Thailand
Phra Maha Chedi Si Rajakarn, Wat Pho, Bangkok, Thailand
I have never seen so many statues of Buddha in my entire life! This temply complex is said to have the largest number of Buddhas in Thailand (more than 1000) but I can't imagine a place that would have more anywhere. Most of the statues were painted gold but the simple stone ones were actually my favorites.
Reclining Buddha, Wat Pho, Bangkok, Thailand
 The Reclining Buddha is a 46m long statue in its own building with a passage that you can walk around it. Large pillars block you from having a good view of the entire statue but it is huge and literally fills the entire building.
Buddhas, Wat Pho, Bangkok, Thailand
The main building of the complex is the only place where they enforced needing long pants/skirts to enter (as well as taking off your shoes that is). I would recommend to all travelers visiting Thailand to bring a sarong or something you can put on quickly when you visit temples to meet this requirement so that you can still walk around in shorts in the hot weather. Phra Ubosot is the main hall for Buddhist rituals and had a large open area to sit (NOT WALK OR STAND) and a large Buddha statue on a high pedestal.
Inside Phra Ubosot, Wat Pho, Bangkok, Thailand had a
 Visiting the temple complex at night also had a lovely perk of seeing the lights turn on and light up the scenery around sunset. It was like seeing everything for the first time as we walked a final loop around the grounds. I would HIGHLY recommend visiting Wat Pho at the end of the day for the lack of crowds and the sunset.
Wat Pho, Bangkok, Thailand
Phra Maha Chedi Si Rajakarn,
Wat Pho, Bangkok, Thailand

As night crept up on the city, geckos came out over almost every wall or tree you could find. They moved quickly but I was able to identify at least three different species. The largest species I found was the brightly oranged blotched Tokay Gecko.

Chinese Gecko (Gekko chinensis)
Flat-tailed House Gecko (Hemidactylus platyurus)



Tokay Gecko (Gekko gecko)

Tokay Gecko (Gekko gecko)
Despite not being a city person I would actually have liked to spend some more time exploring Bangkok. I believe there is a lot more to the city than you can see in a day. I would have also loved to visit more restaurants. The Navy Boat Club near the Grand Palace area had great seafood and curry for reasonable prices but I'm sure Bangkok has many hidden gems to eat at.

On our way out of Bangkok by train from Hua Lamphong Station we visited Wat Traimit. This temple contains the Golden Buddha, officially called 'Phra Phuttha Maha Suwana Patimakon'. The Golden Buddha is a gold statue weighing 5500 kg. The story of the Golden Buddha is that it was covered in stucco and coloured glass to hide the gold during a time of war and for 200 years people didn't know there was gold underneath. When it was moved from its temple to a new location the stucco chipped and revealed the gold underneath.
Golden Buddha, Wat Traimit, Bangkok, Thailand

Saturday, 10 February 2018

Tosayamada to Okayama

I left Tosayamada Station heading for Kochi City to transfer to a bus headed for Okayama. I stayed in Okayama for one night before flying to Thailand.

I was worried about transportation and getting lost or missing a bus I needed so I figured out and prepared everything ahead of time. Traveling in Japan was incredibly easy. All of the stations had automated ticket systems with options for English. It cost me 3600 Yen to get from Kochi to Okayama by bus. The bus ride was fairly long but it would have been scenic had it not been for the very very thick fog.
Foggy Mountains Behind Okayama Castle
What I should have been worried about was booking the hotel. I assumed that since I was just one person I should easily be able to find space in a guesthouse or hotel. I was incredibly wrong. I was incredibly cold and soaking wet walking to every hotel trying to find something that I could afford that had space. Hotel Sunshine was the first hotel that even had room and it took me 4 hours of walking around to find that. So I took the opportunity as soon as they said it.

Ishiyama Park, Okayama, Japan
Visiting Okayama Castle in the rain wasn't as enjoyable as it might have been in nice weather but I can see why it is very popular as a tourist attraction. The castle is along the river with a nice area for gardens. It was built in 1597 but what is currently there is actually a rebuilt castle since it was destroyed by a bombing.  It is called Crow Castle (烏城 U-jō) because of the black walls and roof.

Okayama Castle /Crow Castle (烏城 U-jō)
Okayama Castle /Crow Castle (烏城 U-jō)
 You can walk all the way up to the main castle for free but have to pay to see the inside.
Okayama Castle /Crow Castle (烏城 U-jō)
I was frozen and hungry so I left the castle area. Across the river is the large botanical garden area that I would have like to see but I imagine that another season would be better for this as well since most of the trees didn't have leaves during my visit. This you have to pay to enter. Birding along the river was alright but with such miserable weather only waterbirds were active at all.
Cormorant on the river
I started realizing how hungry I was as the smells from all the restaurants on the main street hit me. It was early and I was one of two people in a ramen shop at that time but it was exactly what I needed. Warm, yummy food hit the spot and I was able to actually dry off a bit before making it all the way back to the hotel.

I visited 290 bar for a drink after warming up in the hotel for a bit. The advertisement that all drinks are 290Y is false since my bill for two drinks was over 1000Y.  Since I had no clue how to question them about if it was an error on my bill or just false advertising that I didn't understand I just got stuck paying it. They do light up the canal at night making it quite pretty.
Canal in Okayama lit up at night
This small trip made me feel quite hopeless. Despite the success of getting to Okayama without any trouble I failed at finding accommodation (taking 4 hours to do this is a fail even if I eventually found it) and at carrying any sort of conversation in a bar that I got overcharged in.

Getting to the airport, which was the entire point of the trip to Okayama, was actually fine though. Again just a quick shuttle from the station to the airport and I was on my way to Thailand. At least getting around Japan is easy! 

Thursday, 8 February 2018

Shrine Rituals in Japan - Hachiōji-gū Shrine, Tosayamada

Despite all of my walking around in the countryside I haven't really explored Tosayamada much in terms of visiting temples or shrines.  The first shrine I visited was the Hachiōji-gū Shrine.
Torii Gate at Hachiōji-gū Shrine, Tosayamada
A torii gate is the boundary line between holy ground and the secular world and you are supposed to bow once when entering it and pass through the side rather than the middle. Shrines and temples may also have a "temizuya"for performing a purifying ritual where you wash your hands and mouth with the ladles provided.  The ritual goes:
・First, scoop up water in a ladle with your right hand and pour water over your left hand.
・Next, hold the ladle with your left hand and pour water over your right hand.
・In your left hand, take some water that you have scooped with the ladle and rinse your mouth. Never touch the ladle directly to your mouth.
・Lastly, using the remaining water, tip the ladle to rinse it off.

"Temizuya" washing basin at Hachiōji-gū Shrine, Tosayamada
 After purification rituals are complete you go to the altar bow twice, clap twice and then bow again to pray. After praying you ring the bell, leave your donation and bow twice and clap twice again before leaving.
 
The shrine and trails around the shrine have many small altars and strings where prayers have been hung.  You can purchase paper to write prayers on at an office in most shrines and temples. I am unsure about the etiquette of bringing your own paper for this but would say it is best to buy from the office. I would also ask where you can hang it if it is possible for you to communicate this.
Hachiōji-gū Shrine, Tosayamada

The Hachiōji-gū Shrine has trails going up a small hill with a large monument at the top.  Unfortunately the signs were all in Japanese so I have no clue what the monument is for.
Hachiōji-gū Shrine, Tosayamada

From the hill you can actually see that the town is a lot more spread out than you expect of a small area like Tosayamada. The town does join to others adjacent to it and houses are small but farms are all around the town as a patchwork. It is quite a nice view with the mountains in the background and a very peaceful place above the town.
View of the Town from Hachiōji-gū Shrine, Tosayamada

Wednesday, 7 February 2018

Birding in Tosayamada

The Monobe River flowing between the Kochi University of Technology and Tosayamada is a great place for spotting a diversity of birds. Shorebirds,herons, grebes, egrets, ducks, kingfishers, cormorants and morhen can all been seen along the shoreline.  Sitting along the river near below the dam is a hotspot for birds of all kinds.
Great White Egret
Common Sandpiper
The extensive fields surrounding the town are great places for starlings, kestrels, buzzards, crows, sparrows, wagtails, thrushes, bulbuls, redstarts swallows and shrikes.
Daurian Redstart Female
Daurian Redstart Female

Eurasian Kestrel
Like vending machines, Eurasian Tree Sparrows are everywhere in the countryside. You will have no trouble spotting them on campus and on countryside roads or even on vending machines in the middle of nowhere!
Eurasian Tree Sparrows on Japanese Vending Machine

Wednesday, 31 January 2018

First Few Days in Japan- Tosayamadacho Igenoki

The flight to Japan was good. Everything was on time and people were very helpful directing me to where I needed to go when I transferred terminals at Hanaeda in Tokyo. Customs in Japan went very very quickly and with a two hour layover to pickup bags, clear customs and get on my next flight I actually waited around for an hour. This was much preferred to missing my flight. Kochi airport is small and similar size to Hamilton airport in Canada. Cab prices are similar if not a bit cheaper than Canada (in Kochi at least).

My first night in Japan was just relaxing at home and getting settled in before passing right out. Since I still can't sleep on planes I really was right out.  I never thought Japanese futons would be so comfy but it really is like sleeping in a marsh mellow.

I live in a three story traditional house right on the Monobe River. With the exception of the basement all of the floors have two full walls of sliding glass doors. The basement only has one. The view is amazing and it is so very pretty and bright to wake up in the bedroom.
View from my house in Japan
When I stumbled out of bed at 7am on my first morning there was a Long-tailed Tit sitting outside of our kitchen window. I proceeded to create the perfect spot for myself in the house.  A comfy chair with fluffy blankets and a view of the river and mountains so I can watch birds and drink my bowl of tea (no this is not a Japanese thing, I just don't have a mug yet!). Now I do this every morning!


My spot
 The birds I have seen from my balcony were:
Carrion Crow
Japanese Cormorant
Mallard
Gadwall
Japanese Tit
White Wagtail
Long-tailed Tit
Gray Heron
Gray Heron

Black-eared Kite(subsp. of Black Kite)
Little Grebe
Brown-eared Bulbul
Brown-eared Bulbul


Japanese Wagtail
Daurian Redstart
Common Kingfisher
Gray Wagtail
Dusky Warbler
Eurasian Siskin
Pale Thrush
Pale Thrush
 The Kochi University of Technology Kami Campus has large gardens with part of the area forested, a small pond and a section of open area. This is the only place I have seen a lawn in all of Japan since most of peoples yards are ornamental or vegetable gardens.
Kochi University of Technology, Kami Campus Pond

During a walk around the Kochi University of Technology campus I also saw:
Japanese White-eye (very cute little birds like vireos)
Japanese White-eye

Eurasian Turtle Dove
Rock Pigeon
Eastern Buzzard
Eastern Buzzard

Brown-eared Bulbul
Brown-eared Bulbul

Pale Thrush
Eyebrowed Thrush
Japanese Pygmy Woodpecker
Japanese Pygmy Woodpecker


 Daurian Restarts are particularly bright and when I followed one I ended up walking a path away from the roads and up into the hills. A walk in the hills around Todoroki Shrine I was able to see Goldcrest and Red-flanked Bluetail as well as many of the birds I had seen already. This is a very nice walk and I expect it will always be a good morning stroll. The shrine itself is very inconspicuous and I wasn't really sure that I was actually at a shrine since it looks more like a house but with an arch at the entrance.
Todoroki Shrine, Tosayamada, Japan

Williams colleges have been very very welcoming and since I was arriving and a student was leaving we went out as a group for BBQ. All you can eat is quite common in Japan from the sounds of it. I was a bit jetlagged still, which for me comes with a bit of a loss of appetite but the food was amazing!

On the 31st we went to Kochi City as a group to see the eclipse from a rooftop but it got cloudy right when it was supposed to be starting and then started to rain so we ended up going to vanburger (this is literally a guy selling burgers out of his van, not even a food truck) for dinner and walking around the streets for a while in Kochi City.  I am sure I will go there again and have more to say about it but the city is very brightly lit and the parts I passed were very full of shops and restaurants.

Sunday, 21 January 2018

Moving to Japan and Continuing Diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis

Soo as of this point my diagnosis is as follows. I have had a clinically isolated incident of MS with  one lesion on my brain and optic neuritis.  They narrowed it down to being MS rather than anything else and they have given me some of the stats.

80% of people at the point I am now will get diagnosed with relapsing MS withing 5 years. Ohh year I haven't been diagnosed with this yet!- They have to wait until I have three lesions or I relapse again. There are no medications for people at my stage of very very early MS. Nothing even as simple as a steroid that could help me get through a relapse if one of them is severe enough to make me unable to walk. If this happens on one of these mountains I want to climb I will be in an interesting situation for sure.

The other stat I have found out is that within 10-15 years of being diagnosed most MS patients need assistance walking (cane, walker) or actually cannot walk (wheelchair).

But however slim my chances may seam there is a bit of hope. Research has shown that improving  diet and exercise, and reducing stress help reduce the number of relapses you have and their severity. Yeah it sounds basic and along the lines of 'the healthier you are the healthier you will be' but basically I have MS in my genetics and my only way I can deal with it this early on is to reduce all of the things in the environment that could trigger it or increase inflammation in my body. Despite the fact that I don't survive off junk food and I do exercise regularly I will be trying to eat healthier and exercising every day.

So that it that. I do have it but I may or may not be part of the stats that gets another relapse and gets worse or I could never experience another relapse again and live my life as if nothing happened (although this is the slimmer chance). I do not have access to any medication at this time either to prevent relapses or to deal with a relapse if it happens. I also need to go for MRI scans every 6 months probably for the next 5 years or until they see me get bad enough to diagnose. So the poking, prodding and scanning is not over!

Now that you have heard the bad news, on to the good part! I was previously complaining about how people reacted to my diagnosis. I would like to take that back. I was faced with needing to tell me work about my diagnosis, which I had held off on for a lot longer than I had wanted to because of very good advice from friends and family telling me that I shouldn't say anything at all until I know more. I see the reasons for all of that and people can definitely get screwed over by employers. Luckily mine are not like that AT ALL!  In one week I will be starting a year of unpaid leave. That means I didn't have to quit my full time permanent job in my field. I was expecting them to get mad at me for leaving. I was expecting to have to quit. I didn't expect people to be so kind and understanding with something that nobody really understands very well yet.

With that huge weight off my shoulders I have began to pack for moving to Japan on the 26th of January. I will be living in Kochi Prefecture. William and I have rented a cute traditional style house right on the river. Rent is only $530 CAN per month and split between the two of us this is the cheapest rent I have paid in my life!

I don't really have much specific planned in terms of what I will do in Japan. I may try to teach English for the year or get some other random job. For the first few months I expect I will just relax and acclimatize/enjoy to the new language and culture.

Things on my bucket list for Japan so far are:
  • Cherry blossom festival (anyone of them and possibly multiple)
  • Anime convention (when in Japan....) with epic homemade costumes
  • Try out birding buddy as both a visitor and as a local people can go with
  • Visit the snow monkeys in winter at Jigokudani Snow Monkeys Park
  • Karaoke in Japanese (and also English) 
  • Learn how to cook amazing ramen (grocery stores will be an adventure...)
  • Visit the southern islands of Okinawa, Japan and enjoy the beaches and snorkeling
  • See a giant salamander in the wild
I am sure that more will get added to the list and I will also find some very amazing things that I never expected.

Thursday, 4 January 2018

My hardest journey- Diving into diagnosing Multiple Sclerosis (MS)

For my entire life all I wanted to do was travel. I grew up with stories of my parents traveling. It wasn't like they actually went places often but the way they told the stories made those places so special in my mind. They went to Belize for their honeymoon, but this trip for some reason stood out as the biggest adventure of their lives and I wanted to experience it too.

As a child I drew pictures or maps and wrote stories of the places I would discover deep in the amazon rain forest or other places around the world. I was fascinated with biology but also with the diversity in culture and history.


We all grow up eventually and since the days of people like Darwin and Jacques Cousteau exploring for the sake of exploring are gone, I needed to find some way to make this into a career. I became a biologist. I figured this was a career that could let me see the world and experience it all while I might actually be able to help conserve the rich biology it has.
Nova Scotia in 2004 when I wanted to become a Marine Biologist

Well this year my life was slowly shattered. Yeah okay you might be thinking I am being overly dramatic here, but just wait. I will explain.


Earlier this year I felt the left half of my face go numb. This was followed by my left eye getting very blurry. This happened on and off for about a month or two and was accompanied by by hands, arms or feet getting numb or tingly periodically.  I hate going to doctors or hospitals (no offense to my friends who are doctors) and typically I would avoid this at all costs but loosing my vision is probably one of the things that scares me the most. So when it comes to my eyes, I am not going to fuck around. 
Algonquin Park winter camping in 2012
I went in to a clinic to talk about what was going on and to get a referral to a specialist. The doctor treated me like a typical hypochondriac, despite the fact that I have a family history of MS (my grandmother had it an died before I was born). I was told it was likely just stress or a vitamin B deficiency.  I understand that it is standard procedure to cover all your bases in a diagnosis but treating someone who is concerned about their health like an idiot is offensive and unprofessional. But despite the bad bedside manner I was quite happy about the idea of something like a vitamin B deficiency being the issue.
Second trip to the tropics, Costa Rica 2011.
After a blood test confirming my B12 is perfectly fine I  was wired up to a machine that measures nerve impulse while I stare at a flashing screen, get beeped at or get electrocuted (gently of course). Following this there was an MRI.  My first appointment with a neurologist is a complete blur in my mind now.  I blanked out of shock and I didn't ask any questions I needed to. I couldn't even think of any in the moment.  All I remember when I walked out of there was "optic neuritis", "MRI was highly suspicious" and basically "it isn't confirmed yet that you have MS but it is likely". They sent me home with a big pile of information packets about MS and advertising pamphlets from drug companies.
Do you like my sphinx moth mustache? (Jamaica 2012)
A spinal tap, another round of blood tests and two more MRIs were scheduled. I did the blood tests first. The morning I went in for the blood test the woman taking my blood gawked at how many things the doctor had requested testing for.  She emphasized that 3 vials is normal and I was getting 10.  Needles don't bother me at all but without any instruction of if I had to I had fasted just in case it was required and around vial 8 or 9 I started to get faint and then I almost passed out. I was dehydrated and had low blood sugar. I had filled 9 out of 10 vials! So close to being done but NOOOOOO I had to lay down for half an hour before they would take the last one and then I had to wait around longer after that before they would let me drive. Extremely understandable from a safety perspective and I didn't protest, but I was very very late for work that day. Those blood tests found that I have low vitamin D and will develop rheumatoid arthritis.
Some nighttime wildlife photography in Ontario, 2012
I had to take a day off work for the spinal tap (also called lumbar puncture) because I was told to lie down and take it easy after and I wasn't supposed to drive. They disinfected my entire back and I had the lean forward hugging a pillow and stay still. There was a localized anesthetic that I guess must have helped a lot because it didn't really hurt much to get the needle in. Then you sit and wait. The needle in thin (yes I wanted to see it) and it takes about 15 minutes to draw all the fluid they need (the fluid is clear!- yes I wanted to see this too, I am odd). The weirdest part about the whole thing was the tug of it coming out. The apple juice they give you after was yummy and there was no passing out at all for the blood test that corresponds to the spinal tap (needs to be done the same day).  Afterwards the doctor wrote me a note for taking a few days off if I needed it. My friend picked me up from the hospital  because I was warned that they wouldn't let me drive home after.


I was told to take it easy all day. The laying down for 6 hours was an exaggeration but "if I get any back pain or headache I should lie down".  I got home and felt fine for about 3 hours. I had a bit of pain in my head but the doctor had described getting migraines, which I get frequently, and these were barely a headache. She also said that medication won't really help with the pain but I can take it for the placebo to see if it takes the edge off somehow. Nothing was prescribed. That evening my back started to ache like crazy. It wasn't the typical muscle ache I was familiar with but skeletal, like the very core of my body was hurt. Makes sense because it had been poked and sucked out a bit. I was surprised it had taken so long to start hurting. I had actually thought I was in the clear and wouldn't experience any pain. At work the following day I was hunched over and trying to not look like I was in pain but coworkers definitely notices and asked.  I hadn't intended on telling people at work yet, my family had actually advised against it until I knew for sure but I work for a very small company where everyone is so friendly that I really didn't want to keep it from them and I definitely didn't wan to brush off their questions or lie so I told a few coworkers, hoping that despite the small company they wouldn't tell the owners yet (I wanted this to come from me and in a more formal setting).

The aches continued for three days but got less each day. That weekend I was carrying a box of 12 bottles of wine out of my apartment and I had a back spasm (shooting pain all the way up my spine). I luckily was able to slowly collapse on the floor at the door to my apartment and stayed there for about 5 minutes. They told me no heavy lifting for 3 days and this had been more than 3 days! The back spasms continued terribly that night and the following morning but got better after that.


Herping in Costa Rica, 2012
My family and friends were either treating me like I was dying or acting like nothing was wrong. I am not really sure what an appropriate reaction is but neither of these really sit well in my head. I basically have been trying to keep it secret or hold it together so that nobody will worry about me or pity me. Over all of this time getting poked and scanned, etc. I really thought I could somehow deal with it without it affecting my life. I was under the mistaken idea that we have drugs that fully stop the progression of the disease. I figured that 'okay I might be on drugs for the rest of my life, I might not be able to live in other countries ever because I won't have free health care but I have a good job and Canada is a good place to be for this'. With this attitude at my back all I wanted was an actual diagnosis. I wanted answers now so I could deal with it and figure out my life.

But then there was a moment when my snow globe shattered. A few of my coworkers and friends are really into podcasts. I heard about a very popular one called Sickboy. I looked it up and they had one podcast on MS. A woman diagnosed with MS at 23 and who was still quite young when on the show talked about her life with MS. Most of it was just chitchat back and forth, discussing how expensive treatments are (MS is pretty much the most expensive diagnosis you can get), discussing accessibility in Toronto, etc. But eventually it really sunk in and I just lost it. Meds hadn't worked!  They could slow the progression but it didn't actually stop and in the time between her diagnosis and the time of the show she had lost the ability to walk without aid, experienced frequent loss of bladder control and constantly deals with accessibility issues and people staring at her since she is a young woman with a walker. The way she talks about it on the show and on her blog which I found later she rocks it.


But that was later, in this moment I was really losing it. I was balling my eyes out imaging that as my life. Being unable to get up a staircase, let alone the huge massive staircase on Machu Pichu, or any mountains that I want to climb in the future. I couldn't fathom this. I wanted to travel, to be a great biologist, to make a difference in some way even if it is small.  How can I do fieldwork in remote areas if I could stop being able to walk randomly and eventually not be able to walk easily on my own? That is my career, my hobby, my passion.... That is... me!

I don't want to need help. I don't want to be a burden.

Herping at Botany conference in 2016 in Edmonton

I realized that I wanted to do something drastic. If I have MS my idea of traveling during retirement has gone to shit. I won't get a retirement with traveling, at least not how I envisioned it. My life went from having a good FULL time PERMANENT job as a ecologist (something very rare to get fresh out of University) where I have a good about of paid vacation time each year and get to do fieldwork every summer, to must live life and travel NOW OR NEVER!
Work on alvars in Manitoba (2017)
I have no idea what my future will bring but I need to make the most of it. It happens that my boyfriend got a postdoc position in Kochi, Japan. Okay lets do this! Now or never means I need to travel as much as I can while I can still kick the ass of these damn mountains. Japan for a year sounds great! I have no idea what comes after that but I don't really care yet. I know I am potentially giving up a great job for this but I really do need to do this. To figure out my life with this and somehow find a way to go down feeling like I accomplished something and lived a fulfilling life.

This would hurt if it fell out of the tree and hit my head... (Florida, 2017)
 Well obviously that isn't even the end of the diagnosis. At this point my mentality shifted but I haven't even had my second set of MRIs and the results from the spinal tap aren't in yet. So maybe I don't have MS, but all of this isn't nothing, so I have something, and it's "likely MS"? Does that just mean the doctor is sugar coating it and trying to not freak me out before they know for sure?

Well I hope you enjoyed my random throwback photos that got tossed in here for some spatial relief and maybe some of my bad humour.